Can we?

Life without u is like a fish without water...gimme death, i ll take it happily; but dont give me a life like this where I have to die without you every second, every minute and every hour of the day...I am sure I have given u lot of pain and I am gettin all that in return, but this pain is becoming unbearable by the day....every small thing reminds me of u and makes me howl and cry like a baby who has been taken away from his mother...your mails, ur msgs, ur calls, ur talks, ur words, everything reminds me of the love that we share and the life that we led together...and they make me cry for the pain that i gave u during my bad times, unintentionally....my heart is pure and will remain pure forever, as it does not house anyone other than you...My mistakes have pained u unimaginably, but I hope and pray everyday that none of it ever happens to u, and i shd get all the pain that i gave u, unknowingly....i pray that watever happens in this world, god shdnt take me away from u...the love, the emotions and the closeness that we share is impeccable and my love for u will always keep me attached to u and god forbid a scenario tougher than this ever arises for any of us...

Give it a chance to improve and i promise to keep a smile on ur face and in ur heart today, tomorrow and forever, until death does us apart!!

Hope...

With all the shortcomings that one may have or their relationship might have undergone, the most important fact that remains is the never ending love, respect, care and trust for each other. The importance of the years spent together, the love that is shared and the pain that couples undergo together should be enough to understand the value and respect that they have for each other.

Problems, issues, fights, misunderstandings are part and parcel of every relationship...but on the other side happiness, sweet memories, love, care, respect and trust for each other is what overtakes all these petty issues. We make mistakes and we learn from them, so as to accommodate each other well in life. Relationships grow with time and so do people, and I guess people have grown together against a number of odds in life. They have supported each other during the difficult times and shown their attachment towards each other.

Communication plays a major role in developing each and every relation and keeping them intact. Failing to do so, leads to a number of problems. I have undergone similar situation and I regret making the sinful mistake of my life, but I have understood the importance of communicating to the one you are close to. Thus, I have made it a point to change the way I communicate and stop the dear one from forming negative perceptions. But, I sometimes wonder, why do we build perceptions about someone whom we call our dear ones? Would it not be a great idea to just walk down and discuss it right on the face of it and clear the air? What holds us back? And if something does hold us back, does it mean we are not close to each other or do we fear the other person feeling bad or taking it to the heart, or not perceiving the same in right manner? I guess all these can be possible effects, but at the end of it each one will be clear on their part and will stay with a lighter heart.

Not communicating leads to lot of potential results like fighting, getting frustrated, anger and goes on to the extent of being dishonest with the one you love. Does that really solve the problem? I guess it just ends up complicating a lot of other things. It may be a possibility that lieing to other person may be because of respect, fear of hurting them unintentionally or other possible reasons. However, it is devastating feeling for the other person who is at the receiving end of all these.

Any relationship becomes successful with a mixture of certain core ingredients like trust, hope, confidence and honesty. Of course, love plays a major role and that is how everything else comes into picture and is automatically taken care of. I am proud of the fact that in any relationship that I have been (friends/love) I have not been dishonest or lied to them for any reason, that might be hurtful. Of course I don't mean that I have never ever lied about anything, but it does mean that I have never lied to hurt the other, or benefit myself, or take a revenge (tit-for-tat attitude) or whatever.

People might think why do I have to write all this, but it is just that, at this stage I do not have anyone to share these feelings with and I hope it will make some dear ones understand that the attitude to betray or lie, or hurt or agonize or spoil or do any such thing never resided within me. I hope, wish, pray, and believe that things change, and for the better and to where and how it was during the happy times.

Apology

I am returning to this after a long long gap, and I am not sure how many days will I carry this routine...I am not even sure about tomorrow...if I will do this tomorrow...never mind..today it is, so it be...

Negativity has been torturous, not just now, always...I have been an optimist through most part of my life, but suddenly this negative frame of mind has been haunting my mind and soul for quite some time. I know why it is like that, but I am just trying to come out of it, completely...May be only God knows what I am undergoing at this stage and only he can help. I really need your help, your support and your blessings Dear God...

Yes, I have made mistakes; Yes, I know I have hurt you; Yes, I know it was not expected out of me (may be) but trust me I dint know what was happening. And, if I ever knew, I would have never made the mistake. And when I made a mistake, I took time to may be realize it; but it was never that I deliberately wanted to do it. Who would ever want to hurt someone as wonderful as you, who has been by my side for years, supporting me, caring for me, fighting, talking, crying, chatting, laughing, smiling and doing everything else with me? I at least never wanted to...and trust me, people make mistakes, unintentionally. They make mistakes when they love someone. And when they realize they love u more, they respect you more and they trust and care for u more...And I really do that...

I might have been like a villain, during those sad days, when I seemed to care less or even least about your happiness, sadness, your tears, your love, your care, but it wasnt like that ever...my eyes opened in the morning with your face in front of me and your name on my lips, your hand in my hand. I prayed for you, I cried for you, I did all that I could, but it all remained within me...I could never probably show it to you and prove my honesty, my feelings to you...I failed..I failed miserably...it was a test...i wish i could understand the subject well, on time...i would have never hurt you...i wanted to be closer to you; i never knew when u left me far...and when i really came near you; i realised i had made some huge mistakes..which probably have left deep scars in your heart...it was never meant to be that way...trust me!!

the best that I have done in last few years is, love you, trust u, rely on u, understand u and be with u, more n more, as much as i can....the worst that i have done is, not speak to u about what i feel, what i think and what's really going on...but i have learnt it...a little late, but i did...i have kept things in my heart which i could have told u...but now i realise...may b i was thinking too much, or i guess i had lost the power to think right at the right time...now i know...

i respect ur feelings, i respect u and i love u for all that u have been...all that i need from u is a bit of confidence, a little more trust, some understanding and some comfort....All that I need is a chance...just to prove that my mistakes were unintentional, never meant to hurt u, never meant to get away from u...may b all that brought me far more closer to u in life that it could have brought anyone, otherwise....

I really Deserve a Chance!!