Negativity has been torturous, not just now, always...I have been an optimist through most part of my life, but suddenly this negative frame of mind has been haunting my mind and soul for quite some time. I know why it is like that, but I am just trying to come out of it, completely...May be only God knows what I am undergoing at this stage and only he can help. I really need your help, your support and your blessings Dear God...
Yes, I have made mistakes; Yes, I know I have hurt you; Yes, I know it was not expected out of me (may be) but trust me I dint know what was happening. And, if I ever knew, I would have never made the mistake. And when I made a mistake, I took time to may be realize it; but it was never that I deliberately wanted to do it. Who would ever want to hurt someone as wonderful as you, who has been by my side for years, supporting me, caring for me, fighting, talking, crying, chatting, laughing, smiling and doing everything else with me? I at least never wanted to...and trust me, people make mistakes, unintentionally. They make mistakes when they love someone. And when they realize they love u more, they respect you more and they trust and care for u more...And I really do that...
I might have been like a villain, during those sad days, when I seemed to care less or even least about your happiness, sadness, your tears, your love, your care, but it wasnt like that ever...my eyes opened in the morning with your face in front of me and your name on my lips, your hand in my hand. I prayed for you, I cried for you, I did all that I could, but it all remained within me...I could never probably show it to you and prove my honesty, my feelings to you...I failed..I failed miserably...it was a test...i wish i could understand the subject well, on time...i would have never hurt you...i wanted to be closer to you; i never knew when u left me far...and when i really came near you; i realised i had made some huge mistakes..which probably have left deep scars in your heart...it was never meant to be that way...trust me!!
the best that I have done in last few years is, love you, trust u, rely on u, understand u and be with u, more n more, as much as i can....the worst that i have done is, not speak to u about what i feel, what i think and what's really going on...but i have learnt it...a little late, but i did...i have kept things in my heart which i could have told u...but now i realise...may b i was thinking too much, or i guess i had lost the power to think right at the right time...now i know...
i respect ur feelings, i respect u and i love u for all that u have been...all that i need from u is a bit of confidence, a little more trust, some understanding and some comfort....All that I need is a chance...just to prove that my mistakes were unintentional, never meant to hurt u, never meant to get away from u...may b all that brought me far more closer to u in life that it could have brought anyone, otherwise....
I really Deserve a Chance!!
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